Parents - Take Care of Yourself

 

Take Care of Yourself

 

                This semester in college, I had the opportunity to take a parenting class that has been absolutely fantastic. I have learned many different things from the class, including taking care of myself, which I will talk about more later, nurturing the child, motivating them and so much more. Some things that you would think are common sense are actually not. One of the most important things that I learned in this course is that I cannot possibly take care of my children if I do not learn to first take care of myself. Elder Marion G. Romney said, “Teaching cannot come from the unlearned. And most of all, spiritual guidance cannot come from spiritually weak.” I found this quote fascinating because sometimes I get into conversations with other adults about how they raise their kids and how I raise mine and find myself asking, am I or they doing it right? The answer isn’t necessarily that there is a set solid answer, but more closely related to whether we are taking the time to take care of ourselves and learn proper practices to deal with our children.

                                                              

  

                One of the things that really sticks out to me is that if we,  as adults, don’t take the time to learn and deepen our own understanding of principals that we want to teach our kids, then we will have a very difficult time teaching it clearly to them, especially at a younger age. If you aren’t very well versed in a topic of importance to teach your child, then teaching it clear enough for them to understand will become a difficult task and may not even stick in their mind. If a parent wants to teach their child patience, love, respect, or really any other concept of value, those things need to be important and well established in them as well. Think about trying to teach your child patience, and yet you severely lack it yourself. How do you think that lesson would go? If you are trying to teach your child a lesson of hard work, and you aren’t a hard worker yourself then it would likely just annoy them instead of help. That is exactly why parents need to look to themselves first and make sure that they are in check. The Center For Parent & Teen Communication said, “Parents often put their children’s needs before their own, but doing so continuously and without fail does children a disservice…Perhaps above all, we create powerful teachable moments when we expose our children to positive stress management techniques like self-care.”

                Speaking from experience, I have had moments in my life where I let stress rule my life and it completely bleeds over and destroys my effectiveness to teach as a parent. For instance, when I was trying to teach my son not to be so impatient with his little sisters, his response was, “but what about you?” This hurt me a little inside because I knew he had a very valid point. I had let stress overtake me and it was showing that many things my children were doing were irritating me a lot. Below you will find a link to a video titled Parent Self-Care: Taking Time to Recharge. This video is fantastic because it talks about how parents need to be, “Taking care of yourself as kindly as you take care of others.” By nurturing your mental state, you will naturally be a more patient and loving parent to your children. There is no greater motivator than love when teaching a child. A quote from Elder Dallin H. Oaks that I found very powerful goes, “A good teacher, like the Good Shephard we serve, concentrates entirely on the needs of the sheep—those being taught.” We cannot possibly focus on others in this way if we have struggles or needs of our own that are clouding our vision.

                I am so grateful for the opportunity that I had this semester to learn about taking time to take care of myself. My current life situation is that I have a fourth child on the way in November. It is only going to be more hectic and time consuming to take care of all of my children and to make sure they are all taught the proper lessons they need for their maturity level. Not only do I intend to make time for myself, even if it gets more hectic, but I also plan to be me conscious of my specific needs and take care of them. This is what will allow me to be a more successful and uplifting parent.

 

 

Romney, Marion G. “The Celestial Nature of Self-Reliance.” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1982/10/the-celestial-nature-of-self-reliance?lang=eng.

“Taking Care of Yourself Plays a Critical Role in Effective Parenting.” Center for Parent and Teen Communication, 3 Apr. 2020, parentandteen.com/taking-care-of-yourself-a-gift-to-your-teens/.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EszLfK8lI-g&t=319s

“Teaching with Love.” The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, www.churchofjesuschrist.org/church/news/church-leaders-address-seminary-and-institute-teachers-through-annual-broadcast/teaching-with-love?lang=eng.